Thursday, August 23, 2012


So I've spent a bit of today thinking about goals and drive and ambition and making the right choices in life. I have to admit I've sometimes wondered whether the career path I've set myself on is the correct one. I worry about not being able to find a job when I graduate or being stuck in academia forever. But at the same time, I'm confident that at least, going the electrical engineering route is a better choice than sticking with physics would have been... not that I have anything against that great area of study. In fact, I have quite a strong nostalgic fondness for it, and I'm very proud of my physics degree. But there's no denying that jobs in the field are few and far between, and I certainly don't see myself as the sort of physics prodigy that would rise to the top of the field of job-seekers. I always floundered when things became too abstract and theoretical, and while I enjoyed math for my part, I never quite got it in the way that I observed some of my classmates getting it. Unfortunately, I seem a bit too rooted in the world of the tangible to ever be able to fully harness math the way a good physicist (and especially a good theoretical physicist) should. So I'm going to try my hand at applied science and see if it's a better fit. So far, I am enjoying it-- but I'm still longing for the outdoors whenever I'm in the lab on a sunny, breezy summer day, inside looking out. 

The only real goals I have right now are my riding goals. I want to be the best damn amateur I can be. I have long and vivid daydreams about buying, training and selling Thoroughbreds off the track-- that's the kind of racket I want to start someday (with, hopefully, an electrical engineering job to offset any, um, “unexpected” failures in the “selling” portion of this plan). I think I've (almost) come to grips with the fact that I'm never going to be an Olympic grand prix rider. But I don't think that precludes me from being a great trainer, and that's what I plan to be!  While I do struggle to identify as a physicist or an electrical engineering student at times, I don't think I've ever doubted that I am a rider (I won't go so far as to tack "good" to the front of that just yet).  And y'know, that self-assured feeling is pretty darn sweet :)

As for the lead-up to my departure... looking forward to finishing work next week and planning to cram in as much time with Haajes, the polo horses, Garrett, Canelo and friends as I possibly can.  Five or six more hours in the day would be nice...

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